Are you a caring and a conscientious working mother?
Housework is still 'woman's work'
Working mothers still perform most of the household chores. Grocery shopping, cooking, laundry, kids homework, organising the clutter…the mom’s do list is never ending. She has the tall order of pleasing parents, nagging in-laws, nitpicking relatives, neighbours, friends leave alone her husband and kids. Wooing the babysitter and the maid tops her agenda. Umpteen tasks like engaging kids on weekends, celebrating festivals traditionally, attending marriages and parties, remembering to wish dear ones and friends on their birthdays and anniversaries give her no breathing space. In a nut shell, everyone expects her to be smart, trendy, cool, and compassionate and seem chipper always.
No time to stand and stare
Often she gobbles down the breakfast after a quick shower, has no time to warm her milk, read newspaper headlines or look into the mirror. Situation in office is no better, for instance, day starts with meetings, client calls, mentoring new joinies, squeezing time for a hurried lunch and finally get back to her work. If required to stay in office after 5 pm, she finds it hard to concentrate, her eyes may watch, but mind does not absorb anything much. She returns home in a wilted state with no energy left to channelise her kid’s boundless energy. Then starts the most difficult part—pacifying the kids who wait for her with a long face, sitting with their homework, preparing dinner, cleaning up the mess with little or no help from husband and eventually goes to bed dog tired.
Separating emotions of congeniality, friendship and intimacy at work is not a skill that most Indian women are good at. In the last decade, women have experienced what is popularly known as the 'glass ceiling' phenomenon, which means women find that they can only rise to a certain level in corporations and no further. Such theories are demotivating and leave a career woman depressed and despondent.
Raising a child is no piece of cake
Children have become as decisive as adults. They demand explanations for everything and will not settle for anything at face value. Compensating with gifts and overindulgence on weekends will not help. Most mothers are often racked with guilt for not being able to give quality time for their children.
Troubled hearts
Stress loads are high for working mothers as more and more working women are leading pressure cooker lifestyles. Juggling the dual roles of mother and employee is extremely hard and is draining her both physically and emotionally. New research is also connecting heart problems to behavioural patterns and social conditioning. Women often do not pay attention to their own health needs. They are the caregivers who tend to postpone their appointment with the doctor to fulfill other family duties. If a techie…
Often techie’s go home and take conference calls because of the time zone differences and go on project tours, client visits and work on weekends, whenever, there is a deliverable--- leaving the family in a lurch. However, the pay packets are alluring.
Why did she opt to work?
She is ambitious, want to be an empowered woman, go up the corporate ladder, help her parents or because her financial status is in shambles or to have a secured future. Not wanting to be tagged as a house-wife material and looked down upon as a doormat, want of identity, financial independence and may be a decent lifestyle prompted to work. May be because her parents invested time and money on professional studies, she was a university topper, avoid embarrassment while facing her batch mates with great careers or found family life to be downright boring. Or urge to remain updated, want of friends, social circle and not to get cooped up at home may have encouraged her to work.
How to strike a balance?
Opt for organisations that are offering flexible working hours, facilities like crèche, gym and woman friendly work atmosphere. Having grandparents at home with the help of a maid may be the best solution for the child. Also think of a part-time job or working from home option. Most men have to increase their share of domestic duties and children also should pitch in. Don’t expect her to be a superwoman.
On the eve of women’s day, let us take some time out to think-----Is she getting the due she deserves?
A woman is called
A feminist
Every time she refuses to be
A doormat
